Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Obi-Wan says those immortal words.

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We’re in a very different universe now.  The Phantom Menace was Star Wars in name only.  Two pit droids out of five is the best I can do.

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Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi

Han Solo says those immortal words.

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The original trilogy, tied up nicely with a bow.  I give Return Of The Jedi three and a half Scout Troopers out of five.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Leia says those immortal words.  (I think you can see where Star Wars Week is headed.)

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Lots of folks think that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the bunch.  I’m not one of them, but it’s pretty sweet just the same.  I give it four Probe Droids out of five.

Star Wars: A New Hope

Luke says those immortal words.

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I saw Star Wars in theatres on Columbus Day, 1977.  I remember it vividly.  That doesn’t make me a geek; it makes me older than a lot of you.  The first one is still the best for me.  I give it five Bothans out of five.

Star Wars Week Starts Tomorrow!

There are six Star Wars movies and five days in a week of Movie Douche broadcasting, so we’re starting on a Friday and getting a head start.  We’ll be going in chronological order according to movie release date, just to keep things simple…for me.

I can’t wait!

Goldfinger

James Bond gets a friendly introduction.

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Goldfinger is one of the best of the Bond movies.  Definitely the best of the Connery Bonds.  This movie was firing on all cylinders.  I give it four and a half Slazenger Sevens out of five.

Ocean’s Thirteen

Three of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood take a moment for themselves.

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I thought it would be good to finish up the series.  Ocean’s Thirteen is an absurdist’s Valhalla and I’ve got a major soft spot for it.  I give it four and a half Gilroys out of five.

Note: Please avoid Ocean’s Twelve.  Please.  I try to pretend it never happened.  That’s why you’ll never see it Douched.